How to win friends at work

Speak up and get interested in others

Job life is tough and there are many pressures on us that leave little time or energy for conversations with people we don’t work with. If you’re taking on too many responsibilities without time to socialise with others you risk missing out on some invaluable support and support that simply isn’t around when you have too many responsibilities. So let’s take a look at how social skills can help you avoid getting burned out. In this guide you’ll learn how to better understand others and win friends.

Where to meet new friends

Look around at the other people at your office and think about where you would like to meet them. Look at the bulletin boards, ask for names, make a list of people you’d like to talk to and then... start talking with them.


Ever had a conversation with a new colleague and suddenly it turns into a high-pitched awkward conversation? It’s an inevitable outcome of a tough job and may seem baffling. But if you smile or show a genuine interest in what someone is saying, their opinion of you can soften, and for best results, provide a warm ‘soft’ side to their personality.

What kind of ‘ideal’ colleagues can you aim for?

Even if you’re the perfectly suited type to every job out there, there may still be people at your workplace who would be more than happy to work with you. It’s important to find people who are happy with your pace and who will join you at lunch or catch up after work. Start with a short list of potential colleagues and ask yourself what you would like in a new colleague or which one you would want to work with.

How to build rapport with friends

By training yourself to recognise people’s different colours, sizes and favourite brands, it’s easier to empathise with what it’s like to be friends with them. Sometimes you’ll have to put up with their antisocial streak, but you’ll get a much better understanding of their motivations if you see eye to eye with them, and how best to reach out to them.

How to keep a conversation going

Here’s a secret: most people (and even most great and successful people) will shut down at some point in conversation. While it might seem like an awkward situation, what will actually happen is that when a person ‘fades away’ it is usually because they’ve hit their limit of how long they can keep the conversation going. Try to ask them some simple questions to get the conversation going: hobbies, weather, work.

How to discuss a bad day or negative experience at work

If you’re feeling down in the dumps at work, don’t just take it out on your fellow employees but bring the situation up with the boss so they know that you’re actually upset about something. Asking questions about why people do what they do, or being honest and upfront can all go a long way towards making an environment feel more positive and challenging.

How to say yes to doing something fun

Some people find it hard to say yes to a fun or enjoyable activity when they’re busy, stressed and constantly bombarded with messages of work that feels urgent and has deadlines. This can make it difficult to come up with a list of things you really want to do.

Don’t worry, everyone can have a worse time, just try to understand others.

And don’t take yourself too seriously. Everyone has problems. You’re not unique.

Written by

CEO Contentyze, the text editor 2.0, PhD in maths, Forbes 30 under 30 — → Sign up for free at

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